After a bomb threat is found scrawled on a mirror aboard a flight, Skyjacked briefly turns into an unenthusiastic game of Hollywood Squares meets Clue. Which one of the various 1970s personalities (it seems disingenuous to refer to such familiar faces as Nicholas Hammond, Leslie Uggams and Rosey Grier as superstars) could it have been? Continue reading “Skyjacked (1972)”
Category: 1970s
Murder on Flight 502 (1975)
Like any air disaster, Murder on Flight 502 begins in unassuming fashion, routinely assembling its diverse group of passengers, each with their own secret, but most importantly, each a familiar face due to they being aging movie legends, has-been TV stars or from being Robert Stack. Then without warning, it freaking explodes all over you, its 1970s debris of orange upholstery, hideous striped stewardess blouses and Sonny Bono raining down on you like bad movie mana from heaven! Continue reading “Murder on Flight 502 (1975)”
The Little Drummer Boy Book II (1976)
The first time was for his Messiah! Now Aaron, the Little Drummer Boy with the biggest skills on the skins, takes on a mission that leaves him stripped of everything that matters to him, facing down an evil empire and spearheading the invasion to make everything right on behalf of one of the Three Wise Men!
The silver bells that were made to announce the birth of Jesus must be recovered at all costs! (See how easy we have it now when Simeon the bell maker could just announce it on social media instead of making a racket with his gigantic bells?) Continue reading “The Little Drummer Boy Book II (1976)”
The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas (1973)
“Don’t look for it, Taylor. You may not like what you’ll find.” This quote from Planet of the Apes kept going through my mind as I watched Ted E. Bear’s desperate search for Christmas.
In the Apes movie, Dr. Zauis tries to warn Taylor off of seeking to find the answer as to how a planet came to be where apes evolved from men, knowing that the truth will shatter Taylor. The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas fares even worse because Ted’s entire life is destroyed, yet he not only fails to realize it, he willingly embraces it! Continue reading “The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas (1973)”
Meteor (1979)
Despite being derided as being so terrible that it helped create its own mass extinction level event (the end of the 1970s disaster movie genre), if we’re being honest, Meteor is a painfully accurate depiction of what would happen if the Earth was about suffer a large asteroid impact.
Namely, that our heroes would push a few buttons, turn some dials, and watch countdown clocks and computer monitors until the giant rock either hit us or it didn’t while bustling around huffing and puffing to disguise the fact that they really had nothing to do but stand around with their thumb in their asses the whole time. Continue reading “Meteor (1979)”
Intergalactic Thanksgiving or Please Don’t Eat the Planet (1979)
Cosmic farmers invade a planet inhabited by a civilization that prizes clowning around above all else! What sort of war of the worlds will occur when the humorless Spademinders spend all their waking hours planting crops while King Goochi desperately clings to power trying (and failing miserably) to freshen up his stand up act? Continue reading “Intergalactic Thanksgiving or Please Don’t Eat the Planet (1979)”
The Kirlian Witness (1979)
The plants are watching us! And thinking! And solving crimes! How awesome is all that?
After going through my whole life under the impression that our leafy neighbors were just waiting to shove a prickly root up my backside (I was no doubt influenced by anti-plant polemics like The Day of the Triffids and Contamination .7), I was relieved that with 1979’s The Kirlian Witness they could finally take their place along side their fellow classic 1970s detectives like Jim Rockford and Barnaby Jones! How could you not love a rhododendron in a Sherlock Holmes deerstalker cap yelling the plant equivalent of “Book’em Danno!”? Continue reading “The Kirlian Witness (1979)”