As he proved in Pierluigi Ciriaci’s Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One, erstwhile Battlestar Galactica icon Richard Hatch again proves what a dumb ass I was back in the third grade when I always played Starbuck on the playground instead Hatch’s Apollo. Continue reading “Beyond Kilimanjaro, Across the River of Blood (1990)”
Category: Action
I Come In Peace (1990)
Houston, we have a problem. A lot of them. There’s the drug dealing scum stealing seized heroin and killing people. There’s drug dealing scum from outer space stealing heroin from the human drug dealing scum and killing people. There’s the slimy FBI guys who don’t want justice, but only want the alien so that his tech can be weaponized. But mostly, Houston has a Dolph Lundgren problem! And that problem is that his superiors keep trying to stop him from kicking the ass of drug pushers, no matter what planet they might be from! Continue reading “I Come In Peace (1990)”
Def-Con 4 (1985)
Def-Con 4 is a cautionary tale, sending a message that we would all do well to heed. And that message is that all you hot high school chicks who break up with their controlling douche bag boyfriends better think twice because the little prick could end up being the psychopathic warlord who runs the dirty survivor’s settlement that’s the last bastion of what passes for civilization after our world has been nuked into oblivion in World War III! Continue reading “Def-Con 4 (1985)”
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993)
This is actually the third movie that features Godzilla‘s chrome Doppelganger, though it is the first time humans and not aliens have piloted it. They don’t have any better results than when the aliens were in the cockpit, but they do manage to send Godzilla back to the ocean and award him custody of a cutesy baby Godzilla, so we can pretty much call Godzilla the loser in this one. Continue reading “Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993)”
008: Operation Exterminate (1965)
If you enjoyed the delightfully incompetent Superseven Calling Cairo and wondered where director Umberto Lenzi honed his talents in making uninspired James Bond knock offs that take place in Cairo, 008 Operation Exterminate provides the pleasingly appalling answer. Continue reading “008: Operation Exterminate (1965)”
Arizona Road (1991)
Fabrizio De Angelis takes a break from making Karate Warrior movies to terrorize the undoubtedly flummoxed residents of Arizona yet again with a tale of a whiskey-soaked gold prospector, a wayward nun, and a dues-paying Antonio Sabato, Jr. Continue reading “Arizona Road (1991)”
Colossus and the Headhunters (1963)
Kirk Morris would play Maciste no less than six times in a brawny film career that included The Witch’s Curse and Atlas Against the Czar. If his clean-shaven pouty look makes you think you’re going to get a brooding muscle god more intent on lamenting his own awesome strength instead of using it, Colossus and the Headhunters leaves no doubt that this Maciste is all about pushing, pulling, heaving, straining, and most importantly of all, killing Headhunters! Continue reading “Colossus and the Headhunters (1963)”