This Italian version of Jason And The Argonauts and Jason’s hunt for the golden fleece listed as badly as Jason’s boat did the during the first half hour of the film as he and I had to endure the whining of his traitorous crew. Just because there’s no food, the water is running out, and it’s becoming painfully obvious that Jason has led you on a wild goose chase, is no reason to behave like you’re from Crete. Continue reading “The Giants of Thessaly (1960)”
Category: Action
The Mystery of Thug Island (1964)
No one dares go to Snakes Island! No one that is but an evil Kali-worshipping Thuggee cult. And the British military guy who is seeking vengeance for the kidnapping of his daughter. And the squadron of soldiers and artillery pieces he brings with him. And also the band of snake hunters looking for easy pickings. But other than those hundred or so guys, absolutely no one dares to go to Snakes Island! Continue reading “The Mystery of Thug Island (1964)”
Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One (1990)
Everything about Delta Force Commando II is twice what Delta Force Commando was! Twice as less action from Fred “The Hammer” Williamson! Twice the use of the same locations as War Bus Commando! Twice the confusing, bland, and poorly staged intrigue! And much more than two times as many scenes of Battlestar Galatica legend Richard Hatch over-emoting to the point of unintentional parody!
Continue reading “Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One (1990)”
Delta Force Commando (1988)
Does it make me a bad person if as soon as I saw the pregnant Mrs. Delta Force Commando, I was hoping she would be viciously murdered? Continue reading “Delta Force Commando (1988)”
Cy Warrior (1989)
Engineered to the be the perfect killing machine. Part man. Part robot. All ass kick! Cyber Warrior One will be the soldier of the future for the American military. Unaffected by extreme heat and cold, impervious to biological weapons and various and sundry toxins, and completely obedient in following all orders, no matter who wrong they may be, this ultimate force of devastation and freedom-spreading vengeance will continue to ensure our great country’s superiority for generations! Continue reading “Cy Warrior (1989)”
Women’s Prison Massacre (1983)
Shot right after Violence In A Women’s Prison with pretty much the same people behind and in front of the camera, Women’s Prison Massacre (known variously as Blade Violent, Emanuelle Escapes from Hell, and Emanuelle in Prison) proves that even when faced with making the same movie as he just finished making, director Bruno Mattei has the skills to make it even better than before! And he does it right from the beginning! Continue reading “Women’s Prison Massacre (1983)”
Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (1972)
It always seems like just when you’re about to get a commendation for running the toughest women’s prison in Japan, some crazy con decides to go over the wall and leave you looking like an overrated chump.
Of course, that wouldn’t be the worst day on the job for you. That would be that time when you got embroiled in a dust up between this same crazy con and some pig who was looking to put her in her place, but only managed to put a shard of glass in your eye. Clearly, running the toughest women’s prison in Japan isn’t the sweet gig it used to be. Continue reading “Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (1972)”