The best thing you can say about this old-time serial is that you sure do get a lot of old-time serial for your buck. Of course, after sitting through it for about ten minutes of its 244 minutes, it becomes quite clear that the worst thing you could say about this old-time serial is that you sure do you get a lot of old-time serial for your buck. Continue reading “Captain America (1944)”
Category: Adventure
In Search of the Castaways (1962)
Jules Verne plus Walt Disney equals really bad special effects and a disjointedly confusing story. Most of the blame surely rests with Disney since I doubt very much that Verne’s novel included an aged and slumming Maurice Chevalier sitting on a fake horse and singing about climbing mountains. Continue reading “In Search of the Castaways (1962)”
Jiboa (1989)
Jiboa proves something I’ve always long suspected, namely that the Amazon jungle is more heavily populated than the island of Manhattan! If it isn’t a tribe of friendly native Indios walking around topless in their red thongs, it’s the cocaine kingpin living in his compound right down the street who lives just over the mountains from the hidden tribe that zealously guards its secret city of emeralds. Then you’ve got the archeologist Mark Frazier and his crew careening through the reeds while traitorous partners try to kill them periodically. By the time it was all over with, I wouldn’t have been surprised if Mark and his new girlfriend wanted to fly to L.A. so they could just get away from all the hustle and bustle! Continue reading “Jiboa (1989)”
The Giant of Metropolis (1961)
The Giant of Metropolis features Gordon Mitchell and if he looks a little rough around the edges, it might be because he began making this movie a mere two days after he wrapped Maciste In The Land Of The Cyclops. But it probably has something more to do with the fact that he was thirty-eight years old!
Is there anything that makes you squirm more than having to see some guy’s dad running around sucking his gigantic chest in and flashing his old man guns at you every five seconds? All of this may explain why there are some scenes where he has to walk around on rocky ground and looks like he’s stumbling and about ready to fall over. Continue reading “The Giant of Metropolis (1961)”
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Ruggero Deodato, who made the surprisingly effective Jungle Holocaust, proves with Cannibal Holocaust that he is just as adept at making a morally repulsive cannibal film as fellow countryman Umberto Lenzi (Eaten Alive, Cannibal Ferox). Continue reading “Cannibal Holocaust (1980)”
Jungle Holocaust (1977)
From what I’ve been able to gather from these cannibal movies, the actual presence of primitive tribes practicing cannibalism in today’s world is pretty limited. So how is it then that if these vicious cannibals are invariably “the last of their kind” a “lost tribe” or “thought long extinct” that every stupid group of documentary filmmakers, reporters, fashion models, and businessmen manage to either crash land smack dab in the middle of their territory, or worse yet, mount an expedition that takes them straight into their stew pots? Continue reading “Jungle Holocaust (1977)”
The Invincible Gladiators (1964)
The ancient world was unquestionably fraught with peril what with rampaging monsters, power-crazed kings, smelly barbarians, and sporadic shortages of bronzer which no doubt caused our humongous heroes no end of trouble and headaches.
Some muscular missions though were tougher than others. For instance, a subterranean kingdom populated by hundreds of leopard men and ruled by an evil sexy queen who enslaved regular guys sure sounds like it has all the makings of a 10.0 magnitude beefquake! And it does! Times two!
It’s understandable if you just juiced your jockstrap because all the stops are pulled out for the 24th of 25 Maciste films produced in the early 1960s! It’s an underground adventure so vast that it will take not one, but two Macistes to handle the deltoid-destroying duties! Continue reading “The Invincible Gladiators (1964)”