The idea of a Walt Disney Christmas movie seems to be a win-win proposition. The legions of Disney zombies out there would gladly eat up a cartoon that featured classic characters such as Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Chip and Dale, and Pluto in a Christmas setting. More importantly of course is that for the Walt Disney Company, it would surely be a gold mine for them, guaranteeing sales every Christmas for years to come. Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas would be the ideal result of such a concept except that it sucks Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey‘s balls. Continue reading “Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (1999)”
Category: Animated
Legend of the Candy Cane (2001)
Throughout history legends have played an important role in passing down information and values to succeeding generations. Whether it was Washington Irving’s The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow teaching us that the jocks will always exercise supremacy over the nerds, the legend of Johnny Appleseed who pioneered the “tin pot as hat” craze of the mid 1950s, all the way up to more recent tales such as The Legend of Billie Jean which taught us that Helen Slater really did peak with Supergirl, our need to spin yarns of bigger than life heroes, deeds, and blue oxen are a window into our national identity. But of all the stories a young and bustling land vomited forth upon the cold prairie nights, it is the legend of the candy cane that has captured the imagination of Americans more than any other! Continue reading “Legend of the Candy Cane (2001)”
Robin Hood (1973)
Country music legend Roger Miller provides the voice (or “pipes” as we say in the Nashville music biz) for the narrator, Alan-A-Dale, the wandering minstrel who torments everyone with really obnoxious hit songs like “Oo-de-lally” when he isn’t giving us the “on the other side of Hazzard County” interludes that explain absolutely nothing. Continue reading “Robin Hood (1973)”
So Dear to My Heart (1948)
So Dear to My Heart is a combination of live action and animation that Disney released after their first such effort, Song Of The South. While that film was ingratiating chiefly due to the entertaining stories Uncle Remus tells, both the live action and the sparse animated sequences in this one fall flat. The live action stuff just isn’t terribly interesting (What? Danny the black sheep ran away again? Yawn. I’ll go right out and look for him in the swamp. Again.) and the animated stuff is forgettable pap that doesn’t satisfactorily advance the farm boy/sheep love story we are all here to see. Continue reading “So Dear to My Heart (1948)”
A Chinese Ghost Story (1997)
Generally speaking, a movie containing not one, but two scenes of urination would not receive a good review from this viewer. Some things are best left to the imagination. This film though somehow manages to make it work. Continue reading “A Chinese Ghost Story (1997)”
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)
The only question I have is where in the hell was Pig Pen? That stinky little fellow is the only reason anyone watches these adventures of an ugly, bald whiner and his weirdo friends. You would think that Charlie Brown would have the decency to invite his dirty buddy to Thanksgiving dinner, but alas, I guess this holiday is only for clean people. Continue reading “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)”
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
Despite being a Disney cartoon, this film is definitely not for children! Based on The Wind and the Willows and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, the movie is about a talking toad who is mentally deranged and a horny guy with big feet lusting after some young hottie while he’s supposed to be teaching the town’s schoolchildren!
As it unfolds, we find Toad’s buddies concerned about his poor money management, even going so far as to appoint Angus MacBadger to act as Toad’s trustee. Even as Angus is attempting to get Toad’s books in order, Toad is out and about wreaking havoc with his new ride, a canary yellow horse drawn cart, pulled by his newest best buddy – a horse named Cyril Proudbottom. Continue reading “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)”