I suppose you could make a worse zombie movie than Living Dead in Tokyo Bay. If you tried. Really, really hard. And had a whole lot of luck, too. Of course, a zero budget zombie movie from the director of ultra Japanese trash movies Guts Of A Beauty, Guts Of A Virgin, and Rusted Body: Guts Of A Virgin 3 and starring the guy who wrote the novel that the zero budget Japanese zombie movie Stacy was based upon means we’re talking “winning the lottery three times in a month” luck. Continue reading “Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay (1991)”
Category: Horror
Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973)
If this movie stayed on task and was solely about the wondrous odyssey of a giant sheep and his befuddled and alcoholic owner, you would have had a classic on your hands. However, the bulk of the movie deals with (for no apparent reason) a crooked mayor named Silverdale. Mayor Silverdale babbles endlessly about recreating and keeping the past alive in his town and uses this as a reason to refuse to sell mining leases to Barnstable who represents a powerful mining company. As fascinating as all this non-wheeling and dealing is, I paid my money to find out exactly what the hell a Godmonster was! Continue reading “Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973)”
Black Demons (1991)
Umberto Lenzi‘s Black Demons is notable because it’s a zombie movie where even the zombies can’t act. When you think about it, that’s really a hard thing to accomplish. I mean, how hard is it to shamble around with glop dripping off your face while some ugly, no-name starlet is tripping over some imaginary tree stump in the front yard of her isolated Brazilian villa? For the six guys they pulled out of the mission and dressed up in fake eyeballs, it turned out to be nigh impossible. Continue reading “Black Demons (1991)”
Hitcher in the Dark (1989)
Hitcher in the Dark‘s plot may make you think at first glance that this might be properly put along side giallo films such as Spasmo (also from director Umberto Lenzi) what with its tale of a rich pud cruising around the Virginia coast picking up ugly 1980s girls and remaking them to look like his ugly Russian mother. But while the story line may scream “artless Psycho rip-off in an RV,” the credits tell a different story and make a strong case for this being lumped in with such landmarks of Lenzi lameness as Black Demons. Continue reading “Hitcher in the Dark (1989)”
Contamination .7 (1993)
The tree roots are alive! The tree roots are alive! Um, I mean they’re more alive than usual. Instead of just laying around doing nothing more than cracking the occasional sidewalk, the tree roots in the forest just outside of Littleton have turned it up to Defcon 1!
After eating the lovable dog of the town’s resident old coot as well as a hitchhiker who was trying to escape a would-be rapist (that chick was having a bad day!), these underground uglies have developed a taste for small town goobers! Continue reading “Contamination .7 (1993)”
The House of Clocks (1989)
This is the film that Lucio Fulci did along with The Sweet House Of Horrors for the “Doomed Houses” series of TV movies in Italy that also consisted of House of Lost Souls and House of Witchcraft from Umberto Lenzi. The House of Clocks is less painful to sit through the The Sweet House of Horrors, but that doesn’t alter the fact that The House of Clocks is typical of late period Fulci TV fare where production values, acting, and story all compete to see which is the shoddiest. And guess what? They’re all winners! Continue reading “The House of Clocks (1989)”
Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955)
By 1955 Abbott and Costello had met just about every monster Universal had to offer. The only one that had escaped their withering satire was the Mummy. Of course by the end of the Kharis films in 1944, many probably already believed that the Mummy was a joke. No matter though as Universal cranked out one last gasp in the Abbott and Costello meet the Monster of the Week oeuvre. This one looked chintzy and the gags were more rickety than ever, though the film was not without its amusing moments (almost exclusively provided by Costello). Continue reading “Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955)”