Ruggero Deodato, who made the surprisingly effective Jungle Holocaust, proves with Cannibal Holocaust that he is just as adept at making a morally repulsive cannibal film as fellow countryman Umberto Lenzi (Eaten Alive, Cannibal Ferox). Continue reading “Cannibal Holocaust (1980)”
Category: Horror
Jungle Holocaust (1977)
From what I’ve been able to gather from these cannibal movies, the actual presence of primitive tribes practicing cannibalism in today’s world is pretty limited. So how is it then that if these vicious cannibals are invariably “the last of their kind” a “lost tribe” or “thought long extinct” that every stupid group of documentary filmmakers, reporters, fashion models, and businessmen manage to either crash land smack dab in the middle of their territory, or worse yet, mount an expedition that takes them straight into their stew pots? Continue reading “Jungle Holocaust (1977)”
13 Ghosts (1960)
What is it about people, especially those with families and little kids, that once they figure out their brand new mansion that their rich uncle left them is actually haunted by malevolent ghosts, that they don’t move out as soon as the first meat cleaver goes whizzing past their heads? Is it because they couldn’t get a U-Haul rented on such short notice or what?
William Castle (The Tingler) works overtime explaining why a seemingly regular family would spend an hour inside a house with several ghosts, let alone three days, but in the end he relies on one of the gimmicks (Illusion-O) he was famous for to distract the audience from the grade school level chills the film barely generated. Continue reading “13 Ghosts (1960)”
Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb (1971)
Remember the curse of King Tut’s tomb? Ten years after Tut’s burial chamber was opened, six of the twenty-six people who were present for that had all died! Well this movie suffered its own curse: two people died and a body double was used in one nude scene! Continue reading “Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb (1971)”
Split Second (1992)
The only Rutger Hauer movie to ever win the Nobel Peace Prize, Split Second serves as a wake up call to a sleepy and apparently really dirty Earth that we must change our ways! Rutger gives all the evidence the once over and shows us that global warming is no myth and the consequences are positively dire!
I know there’s been a lot of talk about climate change from whiny Third World countries and fat has-been liberal politicians who fly on private jets and own three mansions while telling me to use one square of toilet paper to do my business, but where the hell were they back in 1992 when Split Second and Rutger were all over the issue? Continue reading “Split Second (1992)”
The House by the Cemetery (1981)
The House by the Cemetery tells the semi-incoherent tale of the Boyle family who doesn’t have the greatest realtor in the world. Norman Boyle is a professor of something or other at a college in New York City. Along with Norman, the Boyles consist of a drug-dependent wife and a little blonde kid with gigantic lips named Bobby who was dubbed by what sounds like a drag queen with very little aptitude for impersonating males.
Norman’s taken the job of finishing the research of a colleague who has committed suicide and killed his mistress. Norman also wants to look into the suicide. Why do people always want to look into that kind of stuff in these movies? Maybe the dead guy was just nuts!
It doesn’t really matter though in this case since Norm’s investigation consists of hanging out at the library and listening to an audio tape. Continue reading “The House by the Cemetery (1981)”
Ebola Syndrome (1996)
Anthony Wong stars in this movie that is what Dustin Hoffman’s movie Outbreak should have been: a story about a raping and murdering dude who infects a bunch of people with Ebola by tricking them into eating hamburgers made out of human meat. It really isn’t as funny as it probably sounds which is a bit surprising what with all the rapes, murders, cannibalism, and the on-camera slaughter of frogs and chickens. Continue reading “Ebola Syndrome (1996)”