Is The Dirty Dozen too mainstream for you? Did you find The Inglorious Bastards to be more machismo than your pansy constitution could handle? Are you looking for World War II action and adventure where there isn’t so much annoying emphasis placed on the action and adventure parts? Continue reading “Bridge to Hell (1986)”
Category: Italian Cinema
The Opponent (1988)
In life nothing is more pure than the sweet science of effortlessly bad Italian filmmaking! Relentlessly pummeling the viewer with its English-as-a-third-or-fourth-language level dialogue, jabbing with its cast of faded legends, has beens, bimbos, and talentless dudes vaguely recognized from other horrid Roman roundups before finally delivering the knockout blow with a deadly combination of awful songs, punch-drunk plot, and laughably over-the-top action, movies like The Opponent easily fill the undercard of your pointless life. Continue reading “The Opponent (1988)”
After the Condor (1990)
At the very bottom of the world the chase is on for the greatest treasure ever stolen by the governor of Peking, but whose location may only be known by his possibly gay chauffeur!
And when the Annie Oakley of Argentina is among those vying for the priceless booty still lost in the icy-depths of the glacier-filled lake, you better have your best zigging and zagging mojo working for you when you’re scrambling about on a nearby mountain!
But that isn’t anything compared to the zigging and zagging you’ve got to do in the bedroom since when you’re not in Buenos Aires poking the local real estate agent to get the goods on the old villa that might house clues to the treasure, you’re extending your landing gear into some hussy pilot so that you can use her plane to try and spot the treasure in the lake from the air! Continue reading “After the Condor (1990)”
Beyond Kilimanjaro, Across the River of Blood (1990)
As he proved in Pierluigi Ciriaci’s Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One, erstwhile Battlestar Galactica icon Richard Hatch again proves what a dumb ass I was back in the third grade when I always played Starbuck on the playground instead Hatch’s Apollo. Continue reading “Beyond Kilimanjaro, Across the River of Blood (1990)”
008: Operation Exterminate (1965)
If you enjoyed the delightfully incompetent Superseven Calling Cairo and wondered where director Umberto Lenzi honed his talents in making uninspired James Bond knock offs that take place in Cairo, 008 Operation Exterminate provides the pleasingly appalling answer. Continue reading “008: Operation Exterminate (1965)”
Arizona Road (1991)
Fabrizio De Angelis takes a break from making Karate Warrior movies to terrorize the undoubtedly flummoxed residents of Arizona yet again with a tale of a whiskey-soaked gold prospector, a wayward nun, and a dues-paying Antonio Sabato, Jr. Continue reading “Arizona Road (1991)”
Colossus and the Headhunters (1963)
Kirk Morris would play Maciste no less than six times in a brawny film career that included The Witch’s Curse and Atlas Against the Czar. If his clean-shaven pouty look makes you think you’re going to get a brooding muscle god more intent on lamenting his own awesome strength instead of using it, Colossus and the Headhunters leaves no doubt that this Maciste is all about pushing, pulling, heaving, straining, and most importantly of all, killing Headhunters! Continue reading “Colossus and the Headhunters (1963)”