Category: Italian Cinema

The New York Ripper (1982)

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Lucio Fulci takes a break from his supernatural slasher movies (see: The Beyond, House By The Cemetery and City Of The Living Dead) to revisit his second favorite genre, the Donald Duck related slasher.

His first go around with Disney’s miserable mallard was detailed in Don’t Torture A Duckling. In that film a Donald Duck doll was an important clue to the identity of a raving madman. In The New York Ripper, it isn’t a Donald Duck doll that figures prominently, but a killer that taunts the police by calling them up on the phone and talking like Donald Duck, complete with quacking noises! Continue reading “The New York Ripper (1982)” →

Don’t Torture a Duckling (1972)

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After watching this movie I came to a couple of conclusions. The first is that despite this being directed by their idol, Lucio Fulci, the gorehounds will be somewhat disappointed with it. The second thing I figured out is that in spite of Fulci’s reputation, anyone that enjoys a good, unsettling thriller will come away feeling very satisfied with what they’ve seen. The last and by far the most important thing I learned was that the title refers to a retarded girl’s Donald Duck doll.

Strange things are happening in a small Italian village. Strange things like little boys turning up dead and a dirty woman digging up a little baby skeleton. I suppose that qualifies as strange if you’ve never seen an Italian horror movie before, but those of us in the business see that kind of stuff a couple of times a week. Continue reading “Don’t Torture a Duckling (1972)” →

Suspiria (1977)

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Do not be fooled by the bold visuals and the spectacular murder set pieces that Dario Argento uses in this, the first of a trilogy of films which also includes Inferno and Mother Of Tears. When you look past the style he dresses this one up in, it all still boils down to a coven of super powerful witches defeated by a wispy American ballet student who’s in something like her second week at the ballet academy where this all takes place. Continue reading “Suspiria (1977)” →

2019: After the Fall of New York (1983)

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This is the film that proves that director Sergio Martino (Mountain of the Cannibal God, The Great Alligator) knows his way around a station wagon tunnel chase which isn’t something they’re likely to teach you at UCLA Film School. He also demonstrates a keen eye for talent, hiring on Michael Sopkiw and Valentine Monier as Parsifal and Giara respectively. They would team up the next year for Monster Shark and if you liked seeing them riding around on a really big smelly shark, then you will love them riding around the wasteland in their Country Squire! Continue reading “2019: After the Fall of New York (1983)” →

Jungle Raiders (1985)

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I like a main character in a movie that needs as much action as I do! Too many times we’re saddled with reluctant heroes and guys who only grudgingly go about the business of serious ass kicking.

Where are the dudes who want to take it right to the dirty scum that’s threatening to take over everything that matters to them? Isn’t there anyone willing to risk everything for the simple pleasure of killing Borneo pirates? Aren’t there any two-fisted guys in red neck kerchiefs and sea captain’s hats that don’t mind invading the island stronghold of the evil Tiger single-handedly while time bombs are going off everywhere around him? Continue reading “Jungle Raiders (1985)” →

Alien from the Deep (1989)

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I really couldn’t tell if Charles Napier’s Colonel Kovacks, the evil chemical plant operator, was supposed to be the bad guy in this mouth-watering alien slime drenched Italian jungle/horror/sci-fi casserole.

Napier ruthlessly pursues a couple of trespassing environmental activists, cusses out his employees, shrugs off the Chicken Little whining of his head scientist (first about the problems with the volcano they are using to dump toxic waste in and then about the strange burrowing creature that’s terrorizing the plant) and settles on a plan of blowing everything back to the Stone Age to defeat the creature.

How can you not admire a guy who, when given dire information about the alien, smirks and says “don’t worry about it Geoffrey because this is war and that’s something I know a lot about.” First environmentalists and now this? It’s all just more asses to kick for Col. Kovacks! Continue reading “Alien from the Deep (1989)” →

Raiders of the Magic Ivory (1988)

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Raiders of the Magic Ivory Italian PosterWhy pay a couple of mercenaries $125,000 up front to get a magic tablet when you just send your own man along to betray them and steal the tablet? Especially when you’ve already gone to the trouble of having one of them break the other out of prison? And even more especially since the only unique skill set either of the mercs bring to the job is an ability to shoot stuff which is only exceeded by their talent for swearing?

Couldn’t all the hired thugs you have on staff at your compound have done that? And without the nasty habit of hunting you down for revenge after the double cross? (Please tell me it wasn’t to avoid paying the remaining $125,000 you were to remit upon delivery of the tablet.) Continue reading “Raiders of the Magic Ivory (1988)” →