Mario Siciliano was a pretty minor player as far as Italian scuzz cinema goes with credits on a few spaghetti westerns, a bunch of sex comedies, and Evil Eye. Mario proves though that it isn’t how much you do, but what you do with what you have. Some folks like Lamberto Bava or Bruno Mattei may be willing to share their gifts with us three or four times a year. Others, like Mario, may simply explode one day on the scene and burn brightly for a single film or two before returning to the relative obscurity whence they came. Continue reading “Rolf (1984)”
Category: Italian Cinema
Bloody Psycho (1989)
Does the fact that the there were at least four different moments during the completely expected “shock” ending that I didn’t understand mean that that movie was incompetent crud? Or am I in the presence of deranged movie genius when a drunked up bum asked our hero if he just shit his pants? Continue reading “Bloody Psycho (1989)”
The Web of Silence – A.I.D.S. (1994)
I knew I was in trouble right from the beginning when a message appeared on the screen that if this film caused someone to meditate, then it would have been worth the effort. I was pretty sure that when I tracked down a copy of The Web Of Silence – A.I.D.S., it was because it was an Italian movie that was going to either gross me out or make me laugh and hopefully both. I was also pretty sure that I didn’t buy it because I was in need of meditation inspiration. That’s what my day job is for. Continue reading “The Web of Silence – A.I.D.S. (1994)”
Concorde Affaire ’79 (1979)
As directed by Ruggero Deodato (Jungle Holocaust, Dial: Help), Concorde Affaire ’79 manages to create a uniquely Italian take on the airport disaster genre by mixing low budget action (think lots of murky underwater diving scenes), bad special effects (do you think Britain or France was going to let Deodato within a country mile of a real Concorde?), a generous helping of slumming movie stars (Van Johnson and Joseph Cotten? An awesome team – in 1945!), and a story that not only fails to make sense, but whose climax involves a very suspenseful phone call. Continue reading “Concorde Affaire ’79 (1979)”
Zorro in the Court of England (1970)
First off, I should probably disabuse you of the notion that at some point during this film Zorro will be swinging from the curtains in Buckingham Palace and carving a “Z” on the Queen of England’s royal backside.
Zorro is in the Court of England only in the sense that he happens to be shacked up with his manservant Pedrito in the English colony of Bermuda. How he got there all the way from California and why he is surrounded by peasants with Spanish sounding names who are played by Italians is one of those questions best left for director Franco Montemurro. Forty percent of Franco’s five film directing output consists of Zorro movies, so he ought to know, right? Continue reading “Zorro in the Court of England (1970)”
Land of Death (2004)
Legendary Italian exploitation film director Bruno Mattei apparently decided that in a career as long and as aimlessly varied as his, it just wouldn’t be complete without one of these jungle barf bag flicks under his belt. And in true Bruno style, when he tackles a project, he does it with as much gusto as the three or four days of shooting will allow a 72 year old man. And also in true Bruno style, he realizes that whatever is worth doing poorly once is worth doing even worse twice and so he also shot Cannibal World in 2003, too! Continue reading “Land of Death (2004)”
Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks (1974)
Right away you know this movie is going to be one of those ugly, dirty, and cheap 1970s flicks where the special effects consist of junk just half-assed glued to somebody’s head. In fact, I thought I was watching the wrong movie at the beginning when things just kind of fired up with a bunch of people attacking a caveman. They were supposed to be villagers from a few hundred years back, but during one such attack I saw a guy wearing a pair of blue jeans and a button down work shirt, like he’d just got off work at the meat packing plant and decided to stop off in the woods to help some fellow townspeople beat up Neanderthals. Continue reading “Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks (1974)”