Elitist fancy pants action movie fans routinely dismiss Open Fire as merely “Die Hard in a chemical plant”. True scholars of the bargain bin late 1980s and 1990s direct to video action movie shelf fillers know that Open Fire is actually Deadly Outbreak but with a brown haired guy who kicks people in the face instead of a black haired guy doing it. Continue reading “Open Fire (1994)”
Category: Martial Arts
Last Man Standing (1995)
Last Man Standing is the sort of film featuring a martial arts “star” that makes you appreciate the magnetism of the bland Gary Daniels, the acting of the wooden Olivier Gruner or even the cinematic presence of the forgettable David Bradley.
As Detective Kurt Bellmore, Jeff Wincott (Martial Outlaw, Open Fire) doesn’t exactly set the screen on fire (unless you count his chain smoking throughout the film) with his expressionless face and even more frozen delivery. In fact, the most you’ll take away from the entire experience of him alternately destroying junkyards full of clunker cars in various freeway chases and shooting the endless punks who are apparently on the payroll of the evil bank robber Snake Underwood, is his unfortunate resemblance to comedian Tim Allen! Continue reading “Last Man Standing (1995)”
Return of the Kickfighter (1987)
At long last an action movie that articulates why its climax is taking place at the old abandoned cement factory outside of town. Too often, it seems like everyone just magically teleports to the docks for a final shootout (lots of shipping containers can get blown up and bad guys can end up dramatically floating in the water) or mindlessly cruises over to a power plant because all the catwalks can provide a lot of suspenseful chasing (and bad guys falling to their deaths) and steam valves can get ruptured, filling the area with smoke (and burn bad guys in the face), but without any logical explanation why the action had to shift from where it was happening to these locales. Continue reading “Return of the Kickfighter (1987)”
Kick or Die (1987)
Women are being brutally attacked and raped on the campus of the local college, but now the community is standing together to take back the night! By having a meeting to decide what to do! And they decide what any sensible low budget action would – hire the legendary alumni martial artist to teach the co-ends self defense! And it only took two short raped-filled years to add it to the curriculum! Continue reading “Kick or Die (1987)”
Close Range (2015)
Close Range is a welcome action movie reaffirmation of the values we hold so dear in this great country. Namely that despite what all freedom-hating globalists would have you believe, one of our war veteran killing machines is still infinitely more deadly than an entire army of professional Mexican cartel assassins! Continue reading “Close Range (2015)”
Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)
When we last left Colonel James Braddock, he was shoving it up Vietnamese butt by barging into their press conference about how they didn’t have any POWs with a POW he just rescued. Truly a fairy tale ending, but what about the beginning of the fairy tale?
Isn’t the idea of Braddock’s secret origin even more tantalizing than his by-the-numbers “one man plus M. Emmett Walsh” war he waged against the Nam in the first movie? I know he had a freaking assault raft in Missing in Action, but Missing in Action 2: The Beginning is his most personal mission of all! Continue reading “Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)”
Missing in Action (1984)
Missing in Action should really be classified as a fantasy movie. Its central conceit is so unbelievable that even by the relatively lax standards of he-man action films, you can’t but help to wonder if star Chuck Norris will also be raiding the POW camp on a flying carpet while fighting a cyclops. Continue reading “Missing in Action (1984)”