Avalanche (1978)

An avalanche of stock footage and primitive special effects conspire to bury poor bloated Rock Hudson’s career in this Roger Corman-produced late 70s entry in the disaster film canon. And while the avalanche sequence, regardless of how unconvincingly it was edited, at least provided the only moments of excitement, the film otherwise seemed intent on putting so little effort into even the expected tropes of the genre you barely were given a chance to laugh at the characters’ various crises! Continue reading “Avalanche (1978)”

C.H.U.D. (1984)

C.H.U.D. takes two of the 1980s scariest things, homeless people and toxic waste, and much like a horror Reese’s peanut butter cup attempts to combine the two into one great tasting movie boogeyman.

Not content to coast with what on paper is a great idea (basically that the homeless have cooties), the film also adds in such reliable staples as the crabby cop, nosy reporter, crooked bureaucrat, angry homeless advocate, fashion photographer who doesn’t seem to care about any of it and of course his pregnant girlfriend who is there for the Chuds to harass when they get bored skulking around the sewers. Continue reading “C.H.U.D. (1984)”

Forbidden World (1982)

Cancer gets a pretty bad rap what with it killing millions of people yearly and not having any cure for it and all. It even gets blamed for making something cool like smoking really, really uncool.

It’s nice then to see in that in far flung future of Forbidden World, cancer is on the side of the angels, aiding haggard-looking space hero Mike Colby in defeating an apparently rampaging (you don’t really see it move much – it just sort of shows up in places opening and closing its toothy mouth) alien eating the dullards inhabiting a research lab on the planet Xarbia. Continue reading “Forbidden World (1982)”

Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Were you put off by all the high-brow stuff Alien forced you to endure such as deliberating building up suspense and rationing out the monster attacks? Did it annoy you that the story was pretty simple to follow? And were you disgusted by how a strong woman was featured when all you were wanting was to see women killed and violated in a parade of sleazy misogynistic scenes? Don’t sweat it, dude, because producer Roger Corman has got you covered with a Man’s edition of Alien, the superbly scummy and undeservedly entertaining Galaxy of Terror! Continue reading “Galaxy of Terror (1981)”

Stryker (1983)

Stryker PosterStryker is the best post-apocalyptic movie not featuring Richard Norton (Equalizer 2000) that Cirio H. Santiago ever made! Like Dune Warriors (another post-apocalyptic film Cirio made without Norton), Stryker is all about a wasteland (surely the same Filipino rock quarry all of Cirio’s Mad Max rip-off movies are shot in) where water is scarce and bands of dirtbags in tricked out battle cars cruise around killing villagers they think have it. Compared to Stryker though, Dune Warriors comes off like the amateur hour and 15 minutes that it is, lacking the backstory, the strong central characters, and the pathos Stryker is blessed with! Continue reading “Stryker (1983)”

No Retreat, No Surrender (1986)

Mental illness can have a devastating impact on a person’s life. Relationships with family and loved ones are jeopardized. The ability to hold a job can become difficult to near impossible. And in extreme cases it can even lead to self-harm. But there is a bright side to being crazy as a shithouse rat – you may just be crazy enough to train your kung fu skills to an elite level such that an impromptu match against a young Jean-Claude Van Damme leads to you using all your psychotic strength to kick his ass entirely out of the boxing ring! Continue reading “No Retreat, No Surrender (1986)”