Operation Delta Force 5: Random Fire (2000)

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At the culmination of the mind-control scheme perpetrated by terrorist Jaffar Bin Asim and his Russian psychiatrist buddy, Captain Kennedy brings Sgt. Johnson back from the brink of being turned into a suicide bomber by countering his mental conditioning by reminding Johnson of that time they were in a dicey situation and he saved one bullet for himself.

“The last bullet’s for me,” they intone again and again, a mantra of ultra bad ass-ism so potent it shatters the evil Russian’s mind melding! It was also a testament to this, the final Operation Delta Force movie, that I too began chanting it and searched in vain for that last bullet that surely must have been lost somewhere in my couch cushions! Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 5: Random Fire (2000)” →

American Ninja (1985)

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The highlight of American Ninja is a fight between Michael Dudikoff and Steve James that sees the Dude choking Steve out with a garden hose before putting a pail on his head and urging Steve to try to hit him with a stick!

It’s a great scene made even greater because it concludes with Steve gaining a grudging respect for the Dude, what with the Dude being able to beat him down even while doing an impression of erstwhile Guns N’ Roses guitarist Buckethead. But it’s not so great a scene because it also happens to be the best thing about a movie that features the Dude battling endless waves of evil ninjas! Continue reading “American Ninja (1985)” →

American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)

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If I had a son, I would want him to grow up and be American Ninja 2! And if I had a daughter, I would want her to marry American Ninja 2 and have all of its ninja babies!

The best low budget action movie tag team of the mid to late 1980s, Michael “The Dude” Dudikoff and Steve “Died Way Too Young From Cancer” James are back in this follow up to the annoyingly routine original American Ninja. And they deliver the American Ninja movie that every American can be proud of! Continue reading “American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)” →

MonsterHunter Reborn!

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If you somehow managed to find yourself here from our old location, you’re a regular Encyclopedia Brown. A server crash wiped everything out, so all 740+ reviews and their 2000+ images need to be reuploaded to this new site. New reviews will be posted as well during this time, so even if you’ve committed all the old reviews to memory, it still is worth it to drop by. Also, be sure to check out the official MonsterHunter twitter feed.

American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)

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American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt was the martial arts movie where Michael Dudikoff finally received all the accolades he deserved! His rugged good looks, his sturdy and unforced use of a couple of different kicks and punches rivaled only by the soothing monotone he delivered his occasional lines of dialogue in, and of course his most awesome ninja skill of all, his epic hair do constantly reminding the audience of the Dude’s vaguely surfer-like kung fu greatness. And it’s to the Dude’s everlasting credit that he accomplishes all this in a movie he never even appears in! Continue reading “American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)” →

The Oblong Box (1969)

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In spite of the presence of both Vincent Price and Christopher Lee, this is an entirely forgettable entry in the cycle of American International Pictures Edgar Allan Poe films. While the earlier films were directed by Roger Corman, this time the directing chores fall to Gordon Hessler. His credits indicate that he must have been seen as the late sixties-early seventies Corman by AIP because he also helmed Scream And Scream Again, Murders In The Rue Morgue and Cry Of The Banshee for them in rapid succession. Continue reading “The Oblong Box (1969)” →

The Ghosts of Buxley Hall (1980)

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Remember that movie called Taps? It starred Tom Cruise and Sean Penn and featured a bunch of fascist brats taking over their military school to protest its closure. Me neither. But if you did remember it, your reaction most likely would have been, “if they really wanted to do it right, they’d replace Timothy Hutton with a bunch of ghosts.”

Just think about it – ghosts haunting a military academy who use all their supernatural powers to thwart the evil forces trying to shut down America’s last bastion of freedom-loving, patriotic ass kickers in training. What could be a more noble calling for the spirits of fallen soldiers? Why, all those short haired, pants-wearing women teacher union types, who would inevitably oppose such an institution, wouldn’t stand a chance! Continue reading “The Ghosts of Buxley Hall (1980)” →