Delta Force One: The Lost Patrol (2000)

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A tribute to all the soldiers who ever served in two made up Middle East countries in a fictional peace keeping force, Delta Force One: The Lost Patrol, a film larded up with a famous son, grandson, and a C-List kickboxing movie legend, is the sort of thought provoking work that will leave the viewer pondering such unanswerable questions as “which relative humiliated his more famous ancestor more: Mike Norris or Bentley Mitchum?”

The obvious answer of course is that being the grandson of screen legend Robert Mitchum, one’s presence in a movie with Gary Daniels couldn’t help be about a big as drop off in the cinematic gene pool as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I think Gary is our best laid back British-accented kickstud, but it isn’t exactly the same as working with Gregory Peck, is it? Continue reading “Delta Force One: The Lost Patrol (2000)” →

Deep Blood (1990)

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Warning! This film may be too intense for toddlers used to their shark attack movies only having two actual shark attacks in them! Deep Blood though dials its dorsal fin destruction all the way up to three! Of course the youngsters in the crowd will more than likely be traumatized by the inexpertly edited scenes of people thrashing in red water intercut with stock footage of a shark yawning majestically more than the demise of characters we barely knew or who were such tools, we were hoping that that crazy Indian who told the tale of the giant sea monster the Gods sent to kick our ass was totally 100% true! Continue reading “Deep Blood (1990)” →

Atlas Against the Czar (1964)

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If you’ve ever wondered what would have happened if Doctor Zhivago spent less time pumping broads and more time pumping iron, Atlas Against the Czar is the vodka-fueled delirium tremens Russian fairytale answer!

And like Doctor Zhivago author Boris Pasternak and all the other great Russian storytellers, director Tanio Boccia (who is technically Italian, but has a distinctly deliberate Russian style as evidenced by his use of dance scene only three minutes into the movie and then spending a full third of the movie concentrating on the Czar’s archeological expedition) explores themes common to Russian literature such as suffering, evil Czars, and of course greased up hunks! Continue reading “Atlas Against the Czar (1964)” →

Operation Delta Force (1997)

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I’m not really going to blame the Delta Force boys for the shoulder-shrugging inducing mission that kicks off the Operation Delta Force pentology. After all, they gave it their all, whether it was blowing up a village while cruising through it in their rocking dune buggies, dropping off a big ass bridge to ambush some boats, or even battling through a mild case of extremely virulent Ebola to retrieve some serum to stop all the flop sweat and bleeding orifices. That it was all in the service of battling against some uninspired South African separatists though was simply a function of them being in the area on training mission. Continue reading “Operation Delta Force (1997)” →

Operation Delta Force 2: Mayday (1997)

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When the normally taciturn and perpetually granite-faced Captain Skip Lang of Delta Force addressed his team about their concerns for him leading a rescue mission where his father was being held hostage on a Russian submarine and told them simply, “it’s a long story guys, basically me and my father, we don’t talk” on the one hand I was loving it! Is there anything more special forces than brushing off all sorts of emotions about your broken relationship with your dad with really abbreviated tough guy talk?

But on the other hand, I was on the edge of my seat praying to the low budget special forces movie gods that Captain Skip would flesh out his long story about why he and his father just can’t admit that they care and respect each other’s choices in life. Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 2: Mayday (1997)” →

Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target (1998)

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It finally gets personal for Operation Delta Force! While their first mission was a yawner against South Africans stealing UN viruses, their second had all the makings of it being the most personal mission of all! What with Captain Skip Lang’s dad being held hostage on a nuclear sub and all! But Skip himself stated explicitly that it wasn’t personal! He wasn’t concerned with his father’s safety and his father wouldn’t be concerned with his! It was the greatest un-personal mission of all! But with Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target, that all changes – for the better of course! Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target (1998)” →

Operation Delta Force 4: Deep Fault (1999)

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The fourth and most tragic mission for Operation Delta Force really only comes alive during the final 20 minutes or so when Delta is facing overwhelming odds in averting a devastating man-made earthquake and the Operation Delta Force theme music begins to play! Just as quickly though the movie peters out into a series of scenes of guys taking forever to die, taking forever to cut the wire on a nuclear warhead, and taking forever to fire their last bullet at the bad guy. Still, I have always loved that theme (at least since I realized there even was an Operation Delta Force theme at the end of Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target) and was hoping something other than the dull mess that made up almost of Deep Fault would happen as the mission drew to its monumentally costly close. Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 4: Deep Fault (1999)” →