The problem with these movies that were made in the 1950s about big sea monsters cavorting around in scenic coves is that the actors back then had no compunction about doing a swimsuit scene without the benefit of about three months of intense training. (Or at least cutting back on the Pabst about two weeks prior to shooting.) Continue reading “The Phantom from 10,000 Leagues (1955)”
Monster Dog (1984)
Monster Dog was written and directed by Claudio Fragasso. Claudio was a frequent collaborator with Bruno Mattei, but he also had a decent-sized body of work he did on his own. Beyond Darkness, Troll 2, and Night Killer all demonstrated what he could do without Bruno’s help.
With Monster Dog, Claudio tells the tale of a monster dog that is terrorizing the countryside and who may have some connection to music superstar Alice Cooper. Regardless of who else is involved, fans of the big name talent associated with this project will probably figure that his abilities can overcome the obvious obstacles the movie suffers from. But alas, I am sad to report that the unfortunate presence of Cooper was even too much for Claudio to overcome! Continue reading “Monster Dog (1984)”
The Giant of Marathon (1959)
Supposedly, The Giant of Marathon was a relatively big budget affair and I thought that with Hercules emeritus Steve Reeves (Goliath and the Barbarians) in the title role and director Jacques Tourneur (War-Gods Of The Deep) behind the camera that I might just be in for something a little more special than the usual all-male grab ass that these movies usually flexed and posed their way into by the end. On the “jock is half empty” side of things though, I was concerned that since it was about famed Olympian Phillipides, I was going to be subjected to some old time Olympic action. Continue reading “The Giant of Marathon (1959)”
Rage (1995)
Exceeding expectations. That’s where success lies in life. I know this is true because it applies to sports and a concept that you can successfully apply to sports is one in which I have blind faith.
As an example, every week before a big football game, I have to hear the coach of my favorite team talk about how awesome the next opponent is. The guys they’re going up against are a combination Babe Ruth, Red Grange, Teddy Roosevelt, Dracula, and Zeus. Never mind this team finished 0-11 last year and is called North Dingleberry A&T Tech. Continue reading “Rage (1995)”
Escapade in Florence (1962)
The movies culled from re-editing multi-part episodes of the old Disneyland TV series are a mixed bag. Some of them like Dr. Syn, Alias The Scarecrow stand with any of Walt’s theatrical projects in terms of story, production values, and execution. Others, such as Mystery In Dracula’s Castle suffer from weak scripts and a decidedly workmanlike effort both in front of and behind the camera. Escapade In Florence falls somewhere in between these two extremes as it’s hampered by a lousy script, but is made bearable by the location shooting in Italy and the winning performances of stars Tommy Kirk and Annette Funicello. Continue reading “Escapade in Florence (1962)”
Sorority House Massacre (1986)
Borderline incompetent slasher movie that cribs so halfheartedly from Halloween that it can’t even muster a full hour and fifteen minutes of movie before finally giving up.
It’s reasonable to expect the worst when you’re dealing with one of these nondescript stalk and kill movies from late in the slice and dice cycle and Sorority House Massacre easily fails to exceed those expectations right from the get go.
When the lead character, with her short feathered black hair that makes her look even more butch than Courtney Cox in that Springsteen video, first appears and delivers her lines as if she were on some serious anti-psychotic drugs, you realize that while the movie’s hair stylist must have been the first victim, you’re hoping he or she won’t be the last. Continue reading “Sorority House Massacre (1986)”
Picnic (1955)
As soon as I started watching Picnic, I knew that I was in for another one of these sweaty, desperate epics about how life in a small town is full of hypocrites, nosy old maids, and damp drifters who are drenched in the promise of something better than what the small town was offering up to its population of breathy starlets. Continue reading “Picnic (1955)”