Category: 1980s

2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)

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How did I know the post-apocalypse portrayed in this movie was really, really post-apocalyptic? It wasn’t all the raping or the killing or even the leather-clad freaks on dirt bikes. That sort of stuff happens in every run-of-the-mill Mad Max rip-off scenario.

And all the ugly people fighting it out at cheap locations such as a refinery and rock quarries? That just means you woke up in either a Filipino or Italian-lensed no-budget trashageddon.

What really drove home the point that this was some serious apocalypse happening here? The characters’ names. Continue reading “2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)” →

Strike Commando (1987)

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Strike Commando VHS CoverFrequently when I’m at one of those Strike Commando conventions they hold a couple of times a year, I hear other fans debating which was their favorite Rebbo moment. For some it was when he fought the big Russian to the death. For others, it was when he fought the big Russian to the death a second time.

Still, you have your holdouts that maintain it was when Rebbo (Yor, the Hunter from The Future‘s Reb Brown) burst forth from the water in super slo-mo, screaming and big gun blazing. There’s also a school of thought that when Rebbo was running along the rice fields in super slo-mo, screaming while rockets and bombs exploded around him was perhaps the finest display of Rebbo mayhem in his 100 minute long tour of duty. Continue reading “Strike Commando (1987)” →

Rage of Honor (1987)

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Was there really a time when Sho Kosugi got his name above the title of a movie the same way an Elizabeth Taylor or a Jean-Claude Van Damme did? After having watched the charisma-impaired Sho grimace his way through this and Revenge Of The Ninja, I can only assume that they let him star in these movies because he brought all his own ninja gear.

It surely wasn’t for his looks which can be best described as continuously dyspeptic. It wasn’t for his ability to communicate in the English language which had me thinking on more than one occasion that perhaps he was suffering from sort of dysphasia and the casting of him was the result of some mid-eighties affirmative action program designed to help martial artists with speech impediments. Continue reading “Rage of Honor (1987)” →

Empire of Ash III (1989)

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Empire Of Ash III (or as the clumsily inserted title claimed on the VHS version I saw, Last Of The Warriors) isn’t just your standard post apocalyptic desert wasteland picture. And that’s probably because it takes place in the woods of New Idaho!

If watching nameless goofs dressed in leather and driving beat up cars and battletrucks while shooting each other across rocky terrain is your thing, you needn’t worry though. There’s still plenty of rocks up in New Idaho that need blowing up! The rest of the movie similarly takes vaguely familiar elements of these sorts of movies and goes its own special direction with them.

Take the whole “breeding a new race” angle you get in some of these flicks. There’s always a dirty bird trying to force hot, fertile chicks to get preggers in an effort to begin the world again. You’ll recognize these scenes because these guys are always making grand pronouncements about how some babe has been specially selected to receive his seed. Ugh. Is there a radioactive cactus I can screw instead? Continue reading “Empire of Ash III (1989)” →

Hunters of the Golden Cobra (1982)

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If you recall the magical doodads Indiana Jones was after in his various adventures, they all had some kind of superpower that was supposed to awe us. The Lost Ark melted dudes who stared at it, the Holy Grail was like a fountain of youth and really kick ass dose of Neosporin and nobody remembers anything about the Temple of Doom or that crystal skull.

For my money though, the most fearsome of these jungle Maltese Falcons infused with voodoo magic juice isn’t one those top of the line cinema treasures, but one of its economy-class import imitators, the Golden Cobra! And you know why? Because anyone with a home theater can identify with what happens to our heroes in this film! Continue reading “Hunters of the Golden Cobra (1982)” →

City of the Living Dead (1980)

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I remember back in the early 1980s when this movie played the local drive-in under the title of The Gates of Hell for something like three straight months and accompanied by the greatest poster ever. Watching it again all these years later, I still found this to be an enjoyable ride with a pleasingly ample supply of gooey special effects. Plus the DVD cover mimics the incredible poster and whenever I doubted the movie was indeed awesome, I just looked at the front of the DVD to remind myself that it was! Continue reading “City of the Living Dead (1980)” →

The New York Ripper (1982)

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Lucio Fulci takes a break from his supernatural slasher movies (see: The Beyond, House By The Cemetery and City Of The Living Dead) to revisit his second favorite genre, the Donald Duck related slasher.

His first go around with Disney’s miserable mallard was detailed in Don’t Torture A Duckling. In that film a Donald Duck doll was an important clue to the identity of a raving madman. In The New York Ripper, it isn’t a Donald Duck doll that figures prominently, but a killer that taunts the police by calling them up on the phone and talking like Donald Duck, complete with quacking noises! Continue reading “The New York Ripper (1982)” →