The incredible thing about Zombie 5: Killing Birds is that it manages to disappoint both fans of zombie movies and fans of killing bird movies. Continue reading “Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)”
Category: Horror
Zombie 4: After Death (1989)
Has there ever been a movie in the history of the world that was any good and had a “4” at the end of the title? Zombi 3, for those of us still in therapy and repressing most of it, is the movie that Lucio Fulci began, but quit and that Bruno Mattei finished up for him. But don’t rip your own intestines out yet! This isn’t really a sequel! Shot simply as After Death, the slapping of the zombie tag on the film was merely a marketing gimmick! No need to worry that the film won’t utterly fail because it’s trying to continue whatever was happening in the previous gooey mess. It will utterly fail on its own merits! Continue reading “Zombie 4: After Death (1989)”
Miami Golem (1985)
At some point in Miami Golem, I realized that local TV reporter Craig Milford was quite low functioning, albeit still adept at handling a firearm and piloting an airboat through the Florida Everglades.
But it wasn’t because he only halfheartedly said it was crazy and didn’t immediately dump his new girlfriend when she said the strange things he recorded at the university lab weren’t a message from Atlantis but from aliens from another dimension. (If a woman is hot enough her crazy talk doesn’t really register.) Continue reading “Miami Golem (1985)”
Lighthouse (1999)
This was one of those films that I wanted to like a lot more than I did. The premise had the potential for lots of grim chills. A ship load of prisoners bound for an island prison sinks after hitting some rocks. The survivors take refuge on a nearby island dominated by a lighthouse, a lighthouse that should have warned them about where these rocks were, but for some mysterious reason, the light was out! Continue reading “Lighthouse (1999)”
The Black Room (1935)
The Black Room is a slight, but effective little horror film that gives us the pleasure of seeing Boris Karloff as twin noblemen. When there are twins in the movies, one of two things will happen. Either both are really evil (like twins in real life) or there is one that’s evil and one that’s a pretty good guy. When you have one of each, it allows lots of cool stuff to go on, usually involving the bad twin impersonating the good twin so that he can do twice the bad things in half the time. Continue reading “The Black Room (1935)”
The Murder Secret (1988)
Who is the black-gloved killer slashing and decapitating his way through the ugly Italian family spending the weekend at their crazy Aunt Martha’s house? Is it Thomas, the creepy caretaker? Or maybe it’s Thomas, the creepy caretaker. Then there’s always the chance that they’ll pull a fast one on us and have it turn out to be Thomas, the creepy caretaker. Continue reading “The Murder Secret (1988)”
The Haunted Strangler (1958)
Boris Karloff (Frankenstein) runs around with a gimped-up arm and makes faces to show us that he has turned from a genteel novelist to a serial killer who likes to slash the pretty girls that work at the local strip joint somehow named “The Judas Hole.” (I just looked this up and it means something like “peep hole”. If nothing else, this movie taught me some cool new slang.) Continue reading “The Haunted Strangler (1958)”