Every day we humans take for granted our little slimy friends that aerate the soil and provide good fishing bait. Truly, next to dogs and a good beer, man’s best friend. Continue reading “Squirm (1976)”
Category: Horror
Mystère (1983)
Presumably the French high-priced call girl Mystère is supposed to be a super sexy broad what with her heavily made up face and flawless features. Why else is everyone prepared to pay her something along the lines of $1000 to sleep with her? Personally, I found her just a bit on the nasty side of super skeevy since she turned three freaking tricks in a single night! Later on when she’s trying to escape a would-be killer, I was just thankful that she could still walk, let alone scurrying around her roof in an effort to fend him off! Continue reading “Mystère (1983)”
The Beyond (1981)
Everything starts innocently enough when a mob of angry townspeople in the Louisiana bayous way back in 1927 invade The Seven Doors Hotel and brutalize a painter staying in Room 36. There is also a book involved with the title “Eiobon” which is one of those books that some off screen voice always reads from promising gloom and doom for dopes foolish enough to buy the old Seven Doors Hotel.
To the beginning bed and breakfast owner, it sounds a bit like a money pit. The unscrupulous real estate agent in me though is already trying to figure out how to work “every room comes equipped with a luxurious gateway hell and HBO” into the inevitable listing once the new owners get trapped in the zombie-infested basement! Continue reading “The Beyond (1981)”
The Black Cat (1981)
This is a slasher movie from Lucio Fulci (The House by the Cemetery) with a black cat playing the part of the slasher. It actually doesn’t really make as much sense as all that, but none of the rest of the parts in the movie ever seemed to add up to anything beyond their apparent disconnectedness, so that’s what I managed to boil things down to. Continue reading “The Black Cat (1981)”
The Crazies (1973)
By now I think that every one of us is sick to death of seeing the original Night of the Living Dead and the original Dawn of the Dead. I suppose a few of you are suffering from a little Day of the Dead fatigue as well, but for my money, I can never get enough of that profanity-inclined group of dysfunctional soldiers and scientists that inhabit their cozy little missile silo while they farm zombies for some crackpot reason. Continue reading “The Crazies (1973)”
The Dark Side of the Moon (1990)
It’s Satan vs. the Mullet! In outer space! With not much at stake! And one of the more bogus mysteries of all time solved!
I’ll be the first to admit though that despite that really great set up, the movie failed to deliver on its obvious promise.
The movie’s script was the root of its problems since I didn’t understand anything that was happening. Twin brothers apparently wrote it and they must have been using that twin ESP all twins have so that it made sense to them, but not to us non-twins that weren’t plugged into their secret language. Continue reading “The Dark Side of the Moon (1990)”
Planet of the Vampires (1965)
This is a well aged slice of 1960s Italian sci-fi cheese from Mario Bava (Hercules In The Haunted World, Baron Blood) that tells the horrifying tale of some astronauts who get in a whole heap of trouble on the mysterious planet of Aura.
Two spaceships, the Galliot and the Argus use their space TVs to contact one another regarding their mission. There has been a radio signal emanating from Aura. This means either one of two things – that there is intelligent life there or more probably, that there is intelligent life there that is laying a dastardly and nefarious trap to enslave the human race! Continue reading “Planet of the Vampires (1965)”