Category: Horror

Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

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An observation about Vietnam vets and post traumatic stress disorder needs to be made after watching this odd hybrid of the Italian cannibal and Rambo genres. It probably would be better for your mental well-being if you are having flashbacks about how crappy the war was (specifically that time your friends bit you when you were rescuing them from a tiger cage) if your bedroom wasn’t adorned with photos from the war, including a really nicely framed and matted picture of a bunch of stuff blowing up.

John Saxon, the serious-looking dude from Enter The Dragon, plays Norman, the veteran tormented by the fact that his worthless pal bit him and now all these years later, he is starting to get the urge to take bites out of the young skanky neighbor girl. Continue reading “Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)” →

Nightmare Castle (1965)

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Dr. Arrowsmith is one of those mad scientists who is always running off to some convention or other, leaving his sexy wife at home with the hunky handyman. I’m pretty sure his wife held out as long as possible before having an affair with this dude (just until after she heard the carriage take off, I’d wager), but a sexy gal has needs that a scientist obsessed with inventing a rejuvenation formula for his girlfriend is too busy to satiate!

Dr. Arrowsmith is halfway to the Mad Scientist Convention when he realizes that he left his paper, “On the Benefits of a Young Virgin’s Blood For Rejuvenating Beauty-Impaired Hags,” in his greenhouse. He gets an eyeful when he runs into his wife and the gardener and he can’t tell where she ends and he begins. Continue reading “Nightmare Castle (1965)” →

Nightmare City (1980)

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A movie which somehow achieves the bizarre status of being ahead of its time and also a slavish copy of more popular contemporaries, Umberto Lenzi’s Nightmare City proves that the Italian exploitation filmmakers of yore were even better at their trade than anyone at the time even realized.

Coming in the wake of George Romero’s Dawn Of The Dead and Lenzi’s fellow Italian legend Lucio Fulci’s Zombie, Nightmare City doesn’t take any pains to hide the debt it owes those two films. Of course, it should be noted that Lenzi himself stated in an interview on the Black Demons DVD that Nightmare City was not a zombie movie at all, but was about contaminated people that ran amok. Continue reading “Nightmare City (1980)” →

Noctem (2003)

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Okay, I had absolutely no idea that I needed another Night Of The Living Dead movie, but you know, made in Germany, until I watched a bunch of characters boarding up a farmhouse and shouting in that hideously abrasive language while distinctly somber Teutonic tunes played in the background.

Noctem looks much better than its meager budget, but the meager bit of it that passes for originality isn’t very good and manages to slather the film in a slimy coat of self-important philosophical and religious musings that made me think these zombies weren’t really operating at full tilt since Amy and Kusey had time to debate the Biblical implications of their situation.

Kusey runs the local video store and in between the piles of previously viewed copies of Big Mamma’s House on sale for three Euros, he finds Amy in pool of her own blood, a victim not of the zombies, but of her own botched suicide attempt! Continue reading “Noctem (2003)” →

Nude for Satan (1974)

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Before its DVD release in 1999, Nude For Satan languished hidden in an Italian vault for a quarter century, no doubt the victim of some Illuminati scheme to protect the world from its tempting message of kinky sensuousness through devil worship.

Throughout the film, the Devil does his damnedest to coax unsuspecting viewers over to his camp. He makes a chick’s clothes disappear just by looking at her. A naked woman gets whipped by an ugly butler. He influences a gal to go lesbian. He even has a giant spider menace the star while she was only wearing a skimpy nightgown and black panties! But the Devil also does some bad stuff in the movie, too.

One of his most heinous acts was near the end of the film when he taunted us by having hot babes emerging from tombs getting naked only to interject dudes wearing paint and dressed in red thongs into the scene! And they were dancing! Continue reading “Nude for Satan (1974)” →

Unknown Origin (1995)

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Unknown Origin DVD CoverWell, here we go again! It’s the year 2020, man has trashed the planet, and the only hope is undersea labs run by big evil corporations!

If that sounds like the set up for producer Roger Corman‘s Lords Of The Deep to you, then you are not only correct, but also have my sympathies for apparently having been subjected to that waterlogged abomination.

But Roger is all about second chances! Because a second chance costs half as much as an all new first chance! Thus, this not very intriguing or original premise is also the jumping off point for another of his company’s movies, Unknown Origin. Continue reading “Unknown Origin (1995)” →

Deep Blood (1990)

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Warning! This film may be too intense for toddlers used to their shark attack movies only having two actual shark attacks in them! Deep Blood though dials its dorsal fin destruction all the way up to three! Of course the youngsters in the crowd will more than likely be traumatized by the inexpertly edited scenes of people thrashing in red water intercut with stock footage of a shark yawning majestically more than the demise of characters we barely knew or who were such tools, we were hoping that that crazy Indian who told the tale of the giant sea monster the Gods sent to kick our ass was totally 100% true! Continue reading “Deep Blood (1990)” →