Absurd (1981)

There’s no question that Halloween is a cherished American movie, occupying a place in our hearts alongside such classics as Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz and Bad Boys II. It’s a pretty much perfect melding of suspense, violence, atmosphere, music and floating Steadicam shots. And how many of us haven’t caught ourselves at one time or other uttering such famous Dr. Loomis quotes as “Death has come to your little town, sheriff.” and “This isn’t a man.”

But what if someone could take all that was rad about Halloween and add the only thing missing to it? That guy would be a freaking genius, right? That guy would be freaking Joe D’Amato! Continue reading “Absurd (1981)”

Contamination .7 (1993)

The tree roots are alive! The tree roots are alive! Um, I mean they’re more alive than usual. Instead of just laying around doing nothing more than cracking the occasional sidewalk, the tree roots in the forest just outside of Littleton have turned it up to Defcon 1!

After eating the lovable dog of the town’s resident old coot as well as a hitchhiker who was trying to escape a would-be rapist (that chick was having a bad day!), these underground uglies have developed a taste for small town goobers! Continue reading “Contamination .7 (1993)”

2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)

How did I know the post-apocalypse portrayed in this movie was really, really post-apocalyptic? It wasn’t all the raping or the killing or even the leather-clad freaks on dirt bikes. That sort of stuff happens in every run-of-the-mill Mad Max rip-off scenario.

And all the ugly people fighting it out at cheap locations such as a refinery and rock quarries? That just means you woke up in either a Filipino or Italian-lensed no-budget trashageddon.

What really drove home the point that this was some serious apocalypse happening here? The characters’ names. Continue reading “2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)”

Deep Blood (1990)

Warning! This film may be too intense for toddlers used to their shark attack movies only having two actual shark attacks in them! Deep Blood though dials its dorsal fin destruction all the way up to three! Of course the youngsters in the crowd will more than likely be traumatized by the inexpertly edited scenes of people thrashing in red water intercut with stock footage of a shark yawning majestically more than the demise of characters we barely knew or who were such tools, we were hoping that that crazy Indian who told the tale of the giant sea monster the Gods sent to kick our ass was totally 100% true! Continue reading “Deep Blood (1990)”