Monster on the Campus (1958)

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This movie about a big, dead, smelly fish has the kind of pedigree that would make you think it was one of those big, dead, smelly fish movies from the 1950s that was really good. Jack Arnold (The Incredible Shrinking Man) directed from a script by Daniel Duncan who also scripted The Time Machine. And Joanna Moore is the female lead. She was Tatum O’Neal’s mother!

Instead of an interesting rampaging monster epic though, you have a movie hampered by its silly premise. Even worse, the monster hardly rampaged at all, making only a few off screen appearances until the very end when a guy in caveman make up starting running around the woods, chucking axes at park rangers and causing pretty gals to faint dead away. Continue reading “Monster on the Campus (1958)” →

Frankenstein’s Daughter (1958)

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This updating of the Frankenstein story to 1958 sensibilities means that you’ve got long-in-the-tooth actors playing people in their late teens and monsters running around in bathing suits.

Johnny and Trudy are a couple of cool cats who are in love and are going to be married once Johnny gets that promotion to assistant manager. The snafu (other than her husband-to-be’s limited goals in life and his Frankie Avalon hair) is that she keeps having nightmares that she’s a monster that prowls the city streets in a blue negligee. The movie’s in black and white, so I’ll have to take Trudy’s word for it that it was blue. Continue reading “Frankenstein’s Daughter (1958)” →

Rats: Night of Terror (1984)

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The year is 225 A.B. The A.B. stands for “after the bomb” and the world is a different place than the ones we’re used to in Italian gore movies. Gone are the cities infested by zombies, gone are the grottos infested by vampires, gone are the oceans infested by various Jaws rip offs. All that remains are buildings infested with rats!

But not just any rats mind you, but rats that look suspiciously like guinea pigs with a nice bronzer applied. It’s all because of the radiation and the accompanying mutation you understand. It makes you wonder what guinea pigs look like in this new world! Continue reading “Rats: Night of Terror (1984)” →

The Brain Eaters (1958)

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I suppose you’ve got to expect a little brain eating activity when you live in a quiet little town like Riverdale, Illinois. Though grossly under-reported by our traitorous liberal media, the War on Terror has been fought in one horse hamlets like Riverdale for decades! Alien invasions, body snatchings, gigantic insects, arachnids, animals, unnatural swarms of same, ghosts, regular old serial killers, cults, periodic appearance by Satan and/or his minions, and biker gangs all routinely take their shots at taking everything good and clean about this country and making it a big steaming heap of evil poop soup! Continue reading “The Brain Eaters (1958)” →

2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)

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How did I know the post-apocalypse portrayed in this movie was really, really post-apocalyptic? It wasn’t all the raping or the killing or even the leather-clad freaks on dirt bikes. That sort of stuff happens in every run-of-the-mill Mad Max rip-off scenario.

And all the ugly people fighting it out at cheap locations such as a refinery and rock quarries? That just means you woke up in either a Filipino or Italian-lensed no-budget trashageddon.

What really drove home the point that this was some serious apocalypse happening here? The characters’ names. Continue reading “2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)” →