Omega Cop (1990)

OmegaCopCoverIf your mom has told once, she’s told you a thousand times: do not steal Omega Cop’s hat! A group of thugs learn that lesson the hard way during one of the seminal moments of this first Omega Cop adventure!

The world is being thrown into chaos by one of those Greenhouse Effect deals, causing water to be scarce and solar flares to be mega deadly! Even worse is that this has somehow caused gangs of slavers to be formed! And even worser yet, post-apocalyptic punks are out there stealing Omega Cop’s freaking hat!

Some of you underprivileged kids who haven’t been able to get a hold of a copy of Omega Cop are probably at this point imagining what a super cool hat Omega cop has. It’s probably made of gold, has a bunch of electronics wired into it so that Omega Cop can respond to trouble spots right away, and maybe is even outfitted with one of those gizmos that allows a couple of beers to be attached to it. At the very least, Omega Cop’s hat surely features some really great patch, symbol or slogan, like the Omega Cop logo, or World’s Greatest Grandpa!

It just goes to show you though how far the world has descended into anarchy that Omega Cop would desert a couple of chicks he was protecting and go running after the gang with his hat when you notice that his hat is pretty much just a generic dark baseball hat that has “Special Police” on the front of it!

What’s even worse is that Omega Cop admits that it might not be his actual hat, but only one that one of his buddies in the force wore instead! What’s even worser than that though is that after beating up the gang and reclaiming the hat, he puts the nasty thing on his head! After some greaseball psycho had been wearing it! Come on Omega Cop! Haven’t you heard of Omega Lice?

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Omega Cop would just be high drama on the edge of Armageddon though if it only told the story of a man and his baseball cap. The story actually aims to tell much more, though it naturally accomplishes much less.

Omega Cop is really only Omega Cop because he gets three of his other cop pals killed at the beginning of the movie during a botched raid on a slaving operation. To Omega Cop’s credit, he does engage in some soul-searching flashbacking later on in the movie when he’s taking the night watch at the abandoned sports stadium where he and his lady friends are hiding out.

If you watch real close and rewind and go frame by frame several times, you might actually see Omega Cop change the expression on his face! Or his nose might have itched! Either way, it’s pathos!

Omega Cop is played by Ron Marchini who is a different sort of end-of-the-world action hero in that he looks like an amateur wrestler. You know those guys I’m talking about. Back in high school, these kids would be too short or small to play football, so they overcompensated by joining the wrestling team where they ended up looking like jug-eared fire hydrants.

High school wrestler or not, he needs all the fighting skills he can muster because his boss (Adam “Batman” West) refuses to let him back into the underground bunker that serves as Omega Cop’s headquarters!

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It seems that the recent solar flares have caused people to get burned up and go crazy! Adam can’t risk letting Omega Cop and his hussy compatriots into the compound because they might be infected! This serves to explain why we’re hiding out at the sports stadium and why either Omega Cop or the women are getting captured by the bad guys at any given time.

The three women with Omega Cop all joined him under different circumstances. The first one was a gal that he rescued from slavers. The second one was the daughter of a guy who ran a store and who Omega Cop pretty much got killed with his bad attitude. The third one was some chick he pulled out of a car who was getting raped while Omega Cop was running back to his jeep after rescuing his hat! I bet that girl thinks his hat is the greatest hat in the world!

The girls and Omega Cop kind of bicker, but all pull together in the end when they need to blow up the bunker with Adam West still inside. Adam has a nice scene where he gets married to a co-worker and uses the pin of a grenade he pulled for the wedding ring!

Adam begs Omega Cop to blow up the bunker because the bad guys are invading it and this is the one chance to destroy them! Omega Cop is reluctant to blast his crappy boss into dog chow, but is convinced about 20 seconds after first hearing the idea.

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But how is Omega Cop going to blow up the bunker? Isn’t the whole point of a bunker to prevent that sort of thing? A lesser movie might have used the old self-destruct button gag, but Omega Cop is a guy who isn’t above getting his hands dirty to blow up good friends or save prized hats!

He runs into a doorway somewhere outside the bunker, retrieves a little tool box full of bombs, and scurries around placing them here and there and the next thing you know, Omega Cop is running as fast as his stubby little legs can carry him while the entire world behind him explodes!

It is at this moment that persevering through long chase scenes, not-very-impressive kung fu, and half-thought out science fiction (Why did the Greenhouse Effect cause slavers to exist? Why do solar flares cause people to turn psychotic? Why is Troy Donahue in this movie?) pays off because you get to see Omega Cop diving through the air to escape the explosions! And then the movie cuts to him diving into a mountain lake with his lady friends!

The one bit of the movie I found really unrealistic was that he wasn’t wearing his hat when he was swimming with his harem. Maybe they’ll explain his hat’s fate in the sequel called Karate Cop!

© 2014 MonsterHunter

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