Welcome to Stainesville, Nevada! It’s a small town where everyone knows everyone else and more importantly, everyone knows everyone else’s dirty little secrets and spends most of their time shooting glowering looks back and forth and testily advising one another not to talk to that no good outsider from New York who is staying at her family’s lodge. (Don’t be so defensive guys! She’s just there to establish residency so she can get a quickie divorce, not bust up your evil coven, secret sex cult or college sports betting ring!)
Continue reading “A Howling in the Woods (1971)”
Category: TV Movie
One of My Wives Is Missing (1976)
Is Daniel Corbin going crazy? A few days into his honeymoon, he reports his wife missing, but when she reappears accompanied by the friendly neighborhood priest, he claims he’s never met her before in his life!
But why does she know everything about him? And why does no one else remember the person who he thought was really his wife? And is he really seeing that head shrinker back in Detroit because of how crazy he is? And isn’t the real proof of his insanity that he continues to insist that the person husky-voiced Elizabeth Ashley is playing is not his wife even after seeing her in a succession of clingy, low cut nightgowns? I mean, unless his original wife was Farrah Fawcett, this has to be a total upgrade! Continue reading “One of My Wives Is Missing (1976)”
Honeymoon with a Stranger (1969)
I get that Janet Leigh’s Sandra Latham was an attractive platinum blonde prone to wearing short tight dresses and high heels. I also understand that she appeared to need help with a difficult situation and required a sympathetic ear to bend with her troubles. For a lonely, middle-aged man, there’s really almost no defense to all of that. But when she starts talking about how her daddy used to lock her in a closet and wouldn’t let her out, you’ve got to at least consider pumping the humping brakes! Especially when she’s in the middle of a missing husband mystery! And you are the police captain investigating it! Continue reading “Honeymoon with a Stranger (1969)”
Fire! (1977)
You know how Smokey Bear is always gravely intoning how only you can prevent forest fires? After watching Flood!‘s sweaty brother Fire!, another small screen entry from Irwin Allen’s disaster factory, we also know what else can prevent forest fires. Not letting convicts smoke cigarettes when they are on forestry detail! Continue reading “Fire! (1977)”
Flood! (1976)
The forecast for Brownsville is disaster! With a chance for various faces familiar to 1970s audiences to drown as a combination of murky model work and stock footage unleash a watery hell on the sleepy town renowned for its fishing and hotshot helicopter pilots!
As they are introduced one by one, the tension rises like the water behind the wimpy earthen dam, as you try to guess who will be swept away, inevitably prompting pained reaction shots from the survivors! (Don’t be sad – they’ll turn up again with guest spots on The Love Boat or Fantasy Island!) Continue reading “Flood! (1976)”
The Prince of Terror (1988)
What does a family man do when he’s pushed to the limit by a pair of home invading lunatics? How far will he go to protect his wife and daughter? Will society turn a blind eye to the retribution he seeks after getting a prank phone call that makes fun of his last name? What sort of payback is justified when his toilet is clogged up with the script from his latest movie?
These are just some of the heavy-duty nut scratching philosophical questions horror director Lamberto Bava poses in this Italian TV movie about a horror director who is shooting what looks to be an Italian TV movie. But could questions so fundamental be possibly addressed in such a piece of entertainment so trashy that one actress starts talking about orgasms at the dinner table while a child is present? Continue reading “The Prince of Terror (1988)”
Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land (1983)
Mission Control to Starflight One, you are cleared for… disaster! It was of course inevitable what with the ominous mix of cutting edge technology, the misgivings of the designer and the presence of several minor league celebrities aboard. (If I ever notice I am a flight with Gavin MacLeod, Charo and Alfonso Ribaro, I am deplaning immediately as that’s clearly a Final Destination situation!) Continue reading “Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land (1983)”