The Raiders of Atlantis (1983)

~ monsterhunter ~ 2 Comments

I worry about Atlantis. A lot. In all the discussions about all the cool ways civilization will end (gamma ray burst, nuclear war, plague, cows farting too much), there is a strange, unsettling silence about the possibility of the reemergence of Atlantis ending life as we know it!

And it isn’t like Atlantis is some brand new threat just thought up by liberals trying to raise your taxes. It’s been around for 2400 years since Plato invented it to make some political/philosophical point no one cares about!

So how come we aren’t seeing a bunch of specials on the PsuedoHistory Channel about the danger of Atlantis to Mankind? It’s always alien invasions when the deadliest invasion of them all is going to come right out of the ocean (and stinking to high heaven, no doubt!) with all their superior technology and angry antipathy toward us dimwitted surface dwellers! Continue reading “The Raiders of Atlantis (1983)” →

Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land (1983)

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Mission Control to Starflight One, you are cleared for… disaster! It was of course inevitable what with the ominous mix of cutting edge technology, the misgivings of the designer and the presence of several minor league celebrities aboard. (If I ever notice I am a flight with Gavin MacLeod, Charo and Alfonso Ribaro, I am deplaning immediately as that’s clearly a Final Destination situation!) Continue reading “Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land (1983)” →

Terror in the Sky (1971)

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Terror in the Sky is the reason why I never eat airline chicken pot pies. Much like the dreaded “gas station burrito” or the “church social potato salad”, behind their tasty flakiness is only death by diarrhea!

But at least if you get hit with the burrito or potato salad, the worst that can happen is just the destruction of those facilities’ toilets before you are able to limp painfully to the ER for more long lasting relief. When you get a dose of the fiery brown eye due to food poisoning at 40,000 feet? Well, it’s like the great Doug McClure says as he frantically tries to learn to fly the plane, we could be looking at a “wagon load of corpses!” Continue reading “Terror in the Sky (1971)” →

Satan’s Triangle (1975)

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I’m not saying that you don’t pick up the priest found drifting by himself in the ocean, but when you do, you need to be smart about it. At a minimum, you probably shouldn’t keep fishing for that big marlin and the captain of the boat should be court-martialed or keelhauled or whatever it is they do to them when they are absurdly derelict in their seafaring duties.

You’d have to be suffering a bout of scurvy to think that letting a priest who looks like the crazed padre that killed himself and opened the gates of hell in City of the Living Dead taking the helm of you boat during a mysterious storm that has broken out while you are in the middle of the Devil’s Triangle is anything other than sheer lunacy! Continue reading “Satan’s Triangle (1975)” →