Category: Science Fiction

Ravagers (1979)

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There was a moment in the last third of Ravagers where it threatened to become interesting. Richard Harris (Strike Commando 2) had survived the post-apocalyptic wasteland and made his way to a ship where there was plenty of food, electricity, and even clean clothes. Given a tour by the always welcome presence of football/film legend Woody Strode (Spartacus, The Final Executioner), Harris is let in on the dirty little secret of the boat.

Is this the fabled New Genesis that everyone is searching for? Have people finally started having children again? Or is it something darker? Maybe they’ve got a little Soylent Green situation going on. Or everything is being powered by the blood of mutants. Heck, maybe the apocalypse never even happened at all and everything been’s leading to some awesome twist ending! Except that Ernest Borgnine was second billed in the credits and we haven’t seen him yet Continue reading “Ravagers (1979)” →

Interceptor Force 2 (2002)

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Interceptor Force is back! And this time they’re actually called Interceptor Force! Well, most of the time, the mission is so apocalyptic the chief of Interceptor Force just calls it I-Force because there just isn’t time for those extra three syllables!

There’s also no time to inform the viewer much about what exactly I-Force is. It’s lucky then that the I-Force HQ (a room with people milling around PC workstations with cheesy shaped monitors) has a giant seal affixed to the wall that says “The Final Line of Defense.” That doesn’t really explain anything of course but it does confirm that any slogan on a seal really ought to be in Latin for maximum effect. Continue reading “Interceptor Force 2 (2002)” →

Interceptor Force (1999)

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Earth is under assault from an almost invincible alien presence! The United States government is prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice to save the world, by launching a nuclear strike against the aliens! Only one group of specially trained ass kickers can prevent this holocaust from happening! They are the Interceptor Force!

Unfortunately it turns out that Interceptor Force is made up of Olivier Gruner and a couple of other guys you don’t know! And they aren’t trained to battle outer space monsters, they’re just mercenaries! And they aren’t even called Interceptor Force! But then again, the alien invasion is actually taking place in Mexico, so the U.S. is really going to make the ultimate sacrifice on Mexico’s behalf when they nuke them! Hey, it wasn’t like we told the aliens to land in Mexico or anything! Continue reading “Interceptor Force (1999)” →

A Man Called Rage (1984)

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It’s really like any other post-apocalypse. It begins with all manner of stock footage depicting modern life and mushroom clouds right down to the same shots of houses being blown away in an atomic blast we’ve seen since they were first shot in the 1960s by the US government.

And then it’s time for Director Tonino Ricci to bring his uniquely personal vision to the aftermath! A personal vision that looks like a Cirio H. Santiago movie (think endless shots of rock strewn desert), but without all the colorful mutants, midgets, and guys dressed up like they were into Mad Max cosplay. In short, the terrifying unimaginative (and by extension, quite budget friendly) vision we saw from Tonino the year before in his film Rush! But now we’ve upgraded our hero from a bad ass named Rush to a raging bad ass named Rage! Continue reading “A Man Called Rage (1984)” →

Rush (1983)

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This post-apocalypse is brought to you by big ass belt buckles! Foregoing the usual Italian Mad Max ripoff accoutrements such as spiked shoulder pads and metal studded codpieces, Rush takes a less ostentatious approach by having Rush’s wasteland edition leather pants sturdily secured by a belt buckle roughly the size of the bloody mutant rat Rush cringes at upon seeing.

Initially you admire this subtle approach the film takes versus more flamboyant Italian dishes such as Exterminators of the Year 3000, The New Barbarians, 2020 Texas Gladiators and 2019: After the Fall of New York. As the film progresses though, you begin to suspect that what’s happening isn’t because of a sudden attack of artistic restraint on the part of director Tonino Ricci (Raiders of the Magic Ivory, Days of Hell so much as the grim reality of financial constraint.

Continue reading “Rush (1983)” →

The Raiders of Atlantis (1983)

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I worry about Atlantis. A lot. In all the discussions about all the cool ways civilization will end (gamma ray burst, nuclear war, plague, cows farting too much), there is a strange, unsettling silence about the possibility of the reemergence of Atlantis ending life as we know it!

And it isn’t like Atlantis is some brand new threat just thought up by liberals trying to raise your taxes. It’s been around for 2400 years since Plato invented it to make some political/philosophical point no one cares about!

So how come we aren’t seeing a bunch of specials on the PsuedoHistory Channel about the danger of Atlantis to Mankind? It’s always alien invasions when the deadliest invasion of them all is going to come right out of the ocean (and stinking to high heaven, no doubt!) with all their superior technology and angry antipathy toward us dimwitted surface dwellers! Continue reading “The Raiders of Atlantis (1983)” →

Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land (1983)

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Mission Control to Starflight One, you are cleared for… disaster! It was of course inevitable what with the ominous mix of cutting edge technology, the misgivings of the designer and the presence of several minor league celebrities aboard. (If I ever notice I am a flight with Gavin MacLeod, Charo and Alfonso Ribaro, I am deplaning immediately as that’s clearly a Final Destination situation!) Continue reading “Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land (1983)” →